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More change....

Hello lovely people! It’s been a while since I’ve written a journal. January was not easy - I think many people felt that way so I know I’m not alone.
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My grandmother, who had practically raised my sisters and I, and who has always been the pillar of the family sadly passed away in January. She was 94 years old, had 12 grandchildren, 13 great grandchildren, lived in 3 continents and at the age of 90 was still flying between these continents 🙌🏿. Her name was Kusum (I had named this scarf after her). She taught me how to be resilient and strong but also how to be ok with sadness and uncertainty. She was queen of Ayurvedic medicine - we grew up in Zambia and even though we had access to western medicine she would always first go to her herbs and powders to treat any of our ailments. She got up every morning at 5am to perform 2 hours of rituals - when I was young, I never understood why she would do it however having implemented a couple rituals of my own, I can definitely appreciate the power of them. She got married at the age of 15 and traveled by a steamer boat for one month from India to Africa (pregnant with my dad). She settled herself into her new home leaving behind her family that she knew she wouldn’t see again for a long time. Through sheer strength, determination and tenacity she raised her children while also building a large Indian community in a place that was not very welcoming of foreigners.
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After her passing I have been really thinking hard about how to keep some of her legacies alive - not sure if that is a bit egotistical of me given what a powerhouse she was but I want to do something to pass on to my children. I hope I manage it however in the meantime, I will continue cherishing all the memories (good and bad) that we had together.

My amazing meditation teacher said to me last night that grief is about love. I never saw it that way and am so grateful that he told me this.
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